For a number of years I wrote occasional sales letters which aimed to be slightly amusing. They told the story of a mythical pub in Northamptonshire where the “marketing elite of the East Midlands” gathered for a quiet drink.

However events at the Toppled Bollard were never straight forward and usually ended up in disaster. But quite a few people liked the pieces and they brought us in a lot of work.

The Bollard was actually a very successful invention. By and large the stories had little to do with what I was trying to sell (something I often admitted in the PS of the letter). But they struck a chord and brought us clients who could have gone to any one of a hundred other direct marketing companies.

As I say, most people liked the Bollard stories, but I must admit some felt they were stupid. There was one irate reader who occasionally sent me very rude notes back, the essence of which was, “Do you really think anyone finds any of this funny. You should…” I will leave you to imagine the rest.

Unfortunately I was unable to take the person off the mailing list because he or she always wrote anonymously.

Perhaps my favourite response (and one that happened quite a large number of times) followed these lines. I would take a phone call in the office and the caller would say that he (usually he) wanted to talk about direct mail.

I would confirm that he had phoned the right place, and we would start talking.

“Of course I never read junk mail,” the caller would say. “But I like your stories of the Toppled Bollard. Don’t believe it works though.”

“Ah,” I would say. If you have ever spoken to me on the phone you will know I am quite nifty with the occasional “Ah.”

“You don’t read junk mail.”

“No – but it seems to be the way things are going, so tell me about it.”

“It works,” I would say.

“Really?” The voice at the other end would be disbelieving.

“Let’s put it this way. You never read junk mail. And yet you can tell me the name of a mythical public house that only ever appears in the middle of my sales letters. It doesn’t even turn up in the headline.”

There would often be a silence at the other end of the phone, followed by a chortling sound, and then, “So you think it works?”

As you can imagine, if I didn’t think using a bit of humour in a sales letter actually worked, we wouldn’t have run the campaign for several years. Indeed we’ve hardly sent out any Toppled Bollard stories for the past year, but people still talk about it.

I only stopped when I got so many companies wanting me to write for them, I felt the need to take Hamilton House’s promotions in a different direction, to ensure I didn’t use any idea twice.

I thought of all this having taken a call from a potential customer who took the trouble to send me in a piece of his own, based on the Bollard stories. I’ll put it up on this site tomorrow.

In the meanwhile, if you want to talk about direct mail, email, blogs, or any other direct way of talking to customers and potential customers, do give me a call. 01536 399 013 is my direct line. Or email Tony@hamilton-house.com

Tony Attwood